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  • Page 151 of 151 FirstFirst ... 51101141142143144145146147148149150151
    Results 3,001 to 3,015 of 3015

    Thread: Daily Chuckle

    1. #3001
      'Tis love we get when love we bring
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      What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards? A receding hareline.
      A smile is a curve that straightens everything out.
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    2. #3002
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      Why isn't a koala classified as a real bear. Because it doesn't meet the koala-ifications.
      A smile is a curve that straightens everything out.
      Click daily for both https://thebreastcancersite.greatergood.com and http://www.brotherearth.com/en/top.h...k=BrotherEarth

    3. #3003
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      You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen.

      It said, 'Parking Fine.'

      So that was nice.
      Last edited by Bearington; August 10th, 2017 at 02:01 PM.

    4. #3004
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      From a college professor...

      Just before the final exam in my college finance class, a less-than-stellar student approached me.

      "Can you tell me what grade I would need to get on the exam to pass the course?" he asked.

      I gave him the bad news. "The exam is worth 100 points. You would need 113 points to earn a D."

      "OK," he said. "And how many points would I need to get a C?"

    5. #3005
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      A girl potato and boy potato had eyes for each other. And finally they got married and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam.' Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato' and end up with a bunch of tater tots. Yam said not to worry, no spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand, she wouldn't stay home and become a couch potato either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins. When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped. Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and would not associate with those high class Yukon Golds or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.' Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U.(that's Potato University )so that when she graduated, she'd really be in the chips. But, in spite of all they did for her, one day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw!!!! Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just... ....... .............. . ..... . . . . ........... ........................... ............. . ................. Are you Ready for this?..................................... .................................................. ......... .................................................. .......... .............................................. .................. Are You sure? ** * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * OK! Here it is! * * * *---------------- ---------------------------- ------------------- ----------------------- --------------------- -------------------------------- ---------------------- ------------------------------------- ----------------------------- ------------- A COMMONTATER
      A smile is a curve that straightens everything out.
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    6. #3006
      'Tis love we get when love we bring
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      A 12 year old boy went Trick or Treating. One man wanted to know what he was. MAN: Son what are you supposed to be? BOY: A werewolf. MAN: Well you don't look like one, you just in regular clothes. BOYL Well, duh, its not a FULL MOON is it?
      A smile is a curve that straightens everything out.
      Click daily for both https://thebreastcancersite.greatergood.com and http://www.brotherearth.com/en/top.h...k=BrotherEarth

    7. #3007
      'Tis love we get when love we bring
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      A blonde went to the library and took a book home with her. A few days later she returned it telling the librarian that it had to many characters and numbers and it was really boring. The librarian turned to her co-worker and said, "now we know who took the phone book."
      A smile is a curve that straightens everything out.
      Click daily for both https://thebreastcancersite.greatergood.com and http://www.brotherearth.com/en/top.h...k=BrotherEarth

    8. #3008
      'Tis love we get when love we bring
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      When I told my parents that my husband had the flu, my dad said "Have you tried 'euthanasia'?" and in the background, my mom yelled "For the last time, its echuinacea."
      A smile is a curve that straightens everything out.
      Click daily for both https://thebreastcancersite.greatergood.com and http://www.brotherearth.com/en/top.h...k=BrotherEarth

    9. #3009
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      A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help," she said. "Sure, it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

    10. #3010
      'Tis love we get when love we bring
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      One day a student was taking a very difficult essay exam. At the end of the test, the prof asked all the students to put their pencils down and immediately hand in their tests.
      The young man kept writing furiously, although he was warned that if he did not stop immediately he would be disqualified. He ignored the warning, finished the test 10 minutes later, and went to hand the test to his instructor. The instructor told him he would not take the test.

      The student asked, “Do you know who I am?”
      The prof said, “No and I don’t care.”
      The student asked again, “Are you sure you don’t know who I am?”
      The prof again said no. So the student walked over to the pile of tests, placed his in the middle, then threw the papers in the air.
      “Good” the student said, and walked out. He passed.
      A smile is a curve that straightens everything out.
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    11. #3011
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      Bob's Superior Joke

      Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

      Artie said, "I would like them to say that I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

      Eugene commented, "I would like them to say that I was a wonderful teacher and a faithful servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."

      Bill said, "I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'
      Last edited by Bearington; December 15th, 2018 at 11:30 PM.

    12. #3012
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      If you clean a vacuum, are you a vacuum cleaner?
      A smile is a curve that straightens everything out.
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    13. #3013
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      How does a farmer count cows?



      With a cow-calculator.
      A smile is a curve that straightens everything out.
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    14. #3014
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      I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    15. #3015
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      The favorite of my Chemist Husband: I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

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